blame it on the rain -

Satan knows that prayer is the fastest way to advance the kingdom of God. Therefore, he will try everything he possibly can to stop you from praying. He will even prompt you to do “good things” to replace time spent in prayer.

amen, I believe it.

(Source: bluemtnmarc)

D:

freaking out right now =/ 

problems. 

and not even spending time with my favorite guy helped this time, although it did get many smiles out of me. 

btw, i think ‘crushes’ should go away forever. honestly, they bring about more pain than happiness, whether you are doing the liking or whether someone is doing it unreceived towards you. not that today was particularily bad since i spent time with mine and all, but… 

meh. just meh meh meh. and i am not even explaining this problem to you.

i don’t know why i’m spelling so much out, in fact. i think it’s because it just needed to be said. i need a place to vent it all out. completely. all of it. 

then again, this thing needs to be deleted. very badly. 

going to work now, completely people exhausted. 

i just need my Jesus time and a good cry. 

#saddened.

I am quite grumpy right now BECAUSE

i got booted out of the prayer room >.< WHO DOES THAT?! i am upset.

.

.

.story:

i am sitting in the single person prayer room contented playing my guitar alone for the first time in forever. very contented. and happy. because my roommate’s not there, friends aren’t there, no one. yep. worshiping God. good stuff, right?

so there’s this sort-of-unspoken rule that this prayer is for one person or people of groups who are praying together. It’s not the big prayer room that anyone can just walk in and occupy their own corner. It’s small. It would be very awkward for multiple prayer groups to be happening because there is no room and you’d end up finding out things you rather shouldn’t be knowing. 

we’re in the practice of like - oh, there are shoes outside the door. it’s busy. let’s go somewhere else - normally. so we do. and if there aren’t shoes outside it and someone is inside, you also leave them alone.

…

well i’m IN there, playing guitar loudly so as everyone outside can hear me and not disturb me, and two guys simply waltz in the room. one is a random guy whom i don’t know but have trouble respecting, and the other is an RA who i thought i respected but still don’t know very well. 

well, they don’t stop. they come right in, despite looking straight at me (and hearing me, mind you)… 

they sit down in the chairs right opposite me, not two feet from my toes. um, hi? i’m waiting for them to get a clue, shocked.

“mind if we pray in here? we’re just going to … pray”

and then the non-RA one immediately starts spilling all his personal guts to the RA….

and i am awkwardly left being like “O.o… uhh… umm…” and I stare at the love song I was singing happily to God and of course not at all comfortable with being there, listening to them, or whatever. 

so… I crunch my papers really loudly and say “i’m just gonna… go…”

them: “yeah, thanks!”

“whatever” 

the door slams. 

… 

I should have started playing Mumford and Sons SUPER loudly. it would have been funny. 

…but also disrespectful. but weren’t they disrespectful? and rude. very rude. i mean, you’re praying. there are empty halls and end lounges everywhere this time of night. but yet I can only play guitar in that one room right now. 

… i should stop being mad, but now I’m super ranty because i was already sad about stuff. fail. 

goodnight.